Any random heiress can sunbathe within the Seychelles, ski in Aspen or, with the suitable Sherpa and thermal put on, ascend the Himalayas.
Only Ivanka has keepsakes from the Demilitarized Zone.
It should have been wild, discovering herself subsequent to an egomaniacal autocrat like that. It should have been one thing to meet Kim Jong-un, too.
With Daddy she swanned towards the Hermit Kingdom, testing the boundaries of Take Our Daughters to Work Day. I briefly puzzled what worth she was including, as a result of I foolishly prioritized the pursuits of America above the adventures of Ivanka. Optics be damned, she created a reminiscence to final a lifetime. I belief that she and Jared, additionally gratuitously in attendance, will point out it of their vacation letter.
Oh, to be Ivanka! The garments, the children, the tooth, the entitlement. She goes in every single place as a result of she belongs in every single place — that confidence is in her platinum-encrusted genes — and since there’s no nook of the world or cranny of existence that isn’t enhanced by her presence.
Sometimes Twitter is a rest room. Sometimes it’s a motive to dwell.
And typically a hashtag distills a bottomless sea of disgust into a couple of acid droplets. The one accompanying these photographs was #unwantedivanka. It stemmed less from her brush with Kim than from a bit of video that showed her clumsily inserting herself into a conversation among Prime Minister Theresa May of Britain, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau of Canada and President Emmanuel Macron of France in Osaka, Japan. They may have credentials, but she has luminosity.
And gall. That’s what binds her and Jared. It’s their marriage’s secret sauce.
Last week he finally started to unveil his Middle East peace plan — because of course Jared can solve what actual experts failed to — and it threw $50 billion of theoretical investment at the problem without tackling any of the toughest stuff. It had already been disparaged by Secretary of State Mike Pompeo; in a closed-door meeting he told Jewish leaders that the proposal was “not particularly original” and quite possibly “unexecutable,” according to an audio recording obtained by The Washington Post.
The rest of the world greeted it with no more enthusiasm, alternately shrugging and laughing, but Jared was partly insulated from that response because he and “Ivanks,” as he fetchingly calls her, were off to the Koreas. So many hot spots, so little time.
Ivanka nudged Pompeo and Mick Mulvaney, the acting chief of staff, out of the frame, essentially performing the roles of the entire cabinet and the first lady (who skipped the trip) at once. Coming soon: her book on multitasking.
When the president introduced her during a visit with American troops in South Korea, he said: “She’s going to steal the show! She’ll steal it!” I got a little misty just then. She has grown up to be what every dad dreams of for his daughter: an attention kleptomaniac.
And so lovely. Trump told the troops that she and Pompeo were “Beauty and the Beast.”
Back home, her big brother was doing the family even prouder. A chip off the old birther, Don Jr. shared — then erased — a tweet that asserted that Kamala Harris, whose father came from Jamaica and whose mother came from India, was “not an American black.”
I seldom feel sorry for President Trump — O.K., I never do — but if I were going to, it would be on account of his spawn and spawn-in-law. He has given them celebrity, fancy government titles, security clearances and entry into circles they’d never penetrate otherwise. They have given him humiliating headlines to go along with the mortifying ones that he already had in abundance. Talk about a trade imbalance.
But we can’t dismiss them any more than the president can, because they’re mascots not just for his administration but for this moment in American life.
Ivanka and Jared typify the belief that altitude is achievement, that breaching a sanctum is as valid as earning a place there and that faking it is indeed making it. Call yourself a peacemaker and — abracadabra — you’re a peacemaker. Play the part of a diplomat with enough élan and people will eventually take you for one.
They’re shamelessness made flesh. In Homer’s epic poems and in Greek mythology, no flaw rivals hubris, but in the Family Trump, it’s as nonnegotiable as veneers. Pride isn’t what goeth before the fall. It’s what gets you to the inaugural ball.
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