63 Years Between Kisses – The New York Times


On the June day in 1956 when a younger girl named Annette Adkins left Woodbridge, Va., to spend the summer time with kinfolk in Kentucky, Bob Harvey misplaced the love of his life.

Mr. Harvey, who had sluggish danced together with her weeks earlier on the junior promenade, remembers seeing her get in a 1955 tan Pontiac, with a Marine Corps sticker on the bumper. She waved a shy goodbye out the again window because the automobile drove off and he wiped away tears.

“She was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen,” stated Mr. Harvey, 80, of King George, Va. “I was totally, 100 percent in love with her.”

It was if he knew proper then and there he must wait 63 years for his subsequent kiss together with her.

Because a summer time aside felt everlasting, he offered his looking rifle to fund his lengthy-distance calls whereas she was away. But, throughout the month, and after only some conversations, he ran out of cash. He spent the remainder of the summer time ready for her to return for the beginning of their senior 12 months at Gar-Field High School.

When she did, it wasn’t the reunion he had wished for. And she would eventually be going by a new name as the wife of her newfound summer love, John Callahan.

When Mr. Harvey first met Ms. Callahan, she had just moved to Woodbridge to live with her cousin Betty Nichols at the start of their junior year. There hadn’t been much to do in her hometown Pikeville, Ky. “I couldn’t go to football games or really have a social life there,” she said. Woodbridge provided teenage intrigue almost immediately.

In study hall, all eyes were on the new girl. “I couldn’t take my eyes off her,” Mr. Harvey said. “She had auburn hair and a stunningly beautiful face and her eyes were just, wow.”

During one of her first few study halls, Ms. Callahan noticed Mr. Harvey passing notes to a girl she rode the school bus with, Shirley Pemberton. “One day I saw Shirley on the bus and I said, ‘Do you like Bob Harvey? I’ve seen you passing notes with him,’” Ms. Callahan said. “She said, ‘No, he’s passing me notes because he’s wanting to know about you.’”

Ms. Callahan, 80, now of Gahanna, Ohio, was thrilled. “He was handsome and tall and a football player,” she said. Still, when Mr. Harvey asked her to a school dance as a first date, she declined. “I came from a real small country town, and I didn’t know how to dance and I was shy.” She decided she would learn from the paperboy, a classmate who asked her to the same dance but wasn’t as compelling.

“I thought, I’ll go with him and learn to dance, and if Bob asks me out again I’ll be ready,” she said. “And then who was at the door collecting our tickets but Bob?” Mr. Harvey, heavy-hearted that she was there with another boy, asked Ms. Callahan to dance that night anyway. She said yes. “I was so timid I was trembling. I wanted him to like me.”

In that department, she needn’t have worried.

But when Ms. Callahan left that summer, their time apart loosened teenage heartstrings. From Kentucky, she journeyed to Miami Beach to stay with an aunt and uncle and there, she met Mr. Callahan, whom she would marry five years later.

When she returned to Woodbridge for senior year, Mr. Harvey was eager to make up for lost time. He approached her at her locker with his arms outstretched. “I said, ‘Bob, I met someone else. I’m sorry. I don’t want to date you anymore,’” she recalled. “Now it sounds unkind to me. But at that time I didn’t want to lead him on.”

Mr. Harvey was devastated. “I still loved her tremendously,” he said. “But being a Southern gentleman, I knew I had to respect what she said.”

While they grieved their losses separately, each made appearances in the other’s thoughts. Throughout his 60-year marriage, and despite what he called his “very real” love for his wife, Mr. Harvey kept Ms. Callahan’s high school photo in his wallet. And in 1972, when he heard that Gar-Field High was being torn down for renovations, he was upset that he hadn’t been told earlier. “If I had known, I would have gone there and bought the seat Annette and I carved our initials into in study hall,” he said.

In early 2018, Michael Candler, the son of Ms. Callahan’s cousin, visited Ms. Callahan in Ohio. He had found and developed an old, forgotten roll of film with shots of Ms. Callahan and Mr. Harvey posing on a couch, preprom, and thought she might like to see the photographs. Ms. Callahan was flooded with fond memories. “It came to me, looking at those pictures, that I had had so much fun with Bob,” she said. “I wanted to talk to him again.” She looked for him unsuccessfully on Facebook.

In August 2018, Mr. Harvey was diagnosed with bone marrow cancer. As he negotiated his cancer treatments, he wrestled with how he wanted to spend the rest of his life. “The lady who had been gentle on my mind for six decades became heavy, heavy, heavy,” he said. A 2019 Google search turned up Mr. Callahan’s 2015 obituary. “I hit the floor. I was like, Oh, God, she’s been a widow four and a half years. She’s probably remarried and I’ve lost her again.”

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He was willing to take his chances. “I sent a donation to the palliative care unit that took care of John, and then I found a nice card of condolence and sent it to her with my name, address and phone number and signed it, ‘Thinking of you,’” he said. He had found her address through the church that held Mr. Callahan’s funeral. For eight days, he held his breath and waited. And then, on the evening of July 26, she called. “She said, ‘I’ve been looking for you and had given up ever hearing from you. Can you come to Ohio?’”

He told her he could be there by Sunday. He got up at 5 a.m. Saturday and drove 12 hours straight, stopping only for gas and to buy a bouquet of pink and white carnations when he hit Gahanna. When she answered the door, he knew what to do. “I had called my son, Bryan, and said, How do I do this? Do I just run up and plant one on her like it’s 1956? He said, ‘Go for it, Dad.’” So he did. “I handed her the flowers, and then I cupped her face in my hand and said, ‘Whether you like it or not, I’m going to kiss you.’”

Mr. Harvey spent a week in Ohio. Before he left, he asked Ms. Callahan to dance with him in her kitchen to Johnny Mathis’s “Chances Are” and the 2003 Alan Jackson hit “Remember When.” He told her he guessed she and her husband had danced a lot through the years. She told him otherwise. “My husband didn’t dance,” she said. “The last person I danced with was you.”

“My heart was beset,” Mr. Harvey said. “I am so much in love with this woman.”

Cancer treatments require Mr. Harvey to spend most of his time in Virginia, but since August he has spent 10 days per month in Ohio. On Aug. 27, a month after their reunion, he asked Ms. Callahan to marry him with a vintage 1950s diamond ring bought at his former wife’s favorite jewelry store in Fredericksburg, Va. By then, he knew Ms. Callahan’s children approved.



Source link Nytimes.com

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